||Origins of episode title
|Episode 1: "Oscar Madison Won't Let You Pack Your Bags"
||March 8, 2011
||Julie's Parents and Natasha Vargas-Cooper
||Julie and Natasha Vargas-Cooper talk about the most recent episodes of the TV show "Intervention." Julie mentions that there are two new interventionists on the show this season, one of whom has a strong physical resemblance to actor Walter Matthau. She says that every episode of Intervention that he is a part of should be titled "Oscar Madison Won't Let You Pack Your Bags."
|Episode 2: "The Taste of Christmas Morning"
||March 19, 2011
||Jesse Murray, Anthony Atamanuik
||Guest Atamanuik was on an episode of "Top Chef: Masters," although his strategy to ensure camera time might need some work. He said that a particular bread pudding tasted like Christmas morning 15+ times until other diners asked him to stop.
|Episode 3: "A Smiling Bruce Vilanch"
||March 26, 2011
||Billy Eichner, Megan Amram
||Billy Eichner asks Julie if she "can imagine what Donald Trump's pubic hair looks like." Julie responds by saying that it probably looks like "a smiling Bruce Vilanch."
|Episode 4: "I Did Fiddler!"
||April 1, 2011
||Ronna & Beverly, James Urbaniak
||James Urbaniak tells a story about an actor who walked into the first rehearsal of a community theater production with a huge beard. When asked about the beard by the other actors, he replied by saying "I did Fiddler."
|Episode 5: "The One With Joan Rivers"
||April 7, 2011
||We can't do everything for you. Honestly.
|Episode 6: "Polar Bears on Moonbeams"
||April 15, 2011
||Patton Oswalt, Holly Schlesinger
||Julie talks about Shirley Maclaine's (aka "Lizard Eyes") official website. One of the features of the website is a message board called "The Encounter Board," which has a thread titled "Creativity Corner," the purpose of which is to provide a place for users to "post and share their poems and other creative writing endeavors." User "Frank" from Canada shared a poem he wrote called Polar Bears on Moonbeams.
|Episode 7: "The Pottery Scene From GREASE"
||April 23, 2011
||Rachel Dratch and Rachel Shukert
||Rachel Shukert accidentally says "The Pottery Scene from Grease instead of "The pottery Scene from Ghost." Both Julie and Rachel agree that a pottery scene in Grease would have been great.
|Episode 8: "All The Way To Canada"
||April 29, 2011
||Neko Case, Joe Mande
||These are the primary lyrics to the first song that Neko Case recalls writing.
|Episode 9: "In The Face"
||May 6, 2011
||Seth Rudetsky, Baratunde Thurston
||In the Julie's interview with Baratunde Thurston, they discuss the killing of Osama Bin Laden (Bin Laden was shot "in the face") .
|Episode 10: "Pico Won't Know Our Baby"
||May 14, 2011
||Jen Kirkman, Andrea Rosen, John Gemberling
||Guest Andrea Rosen, under the influence of pregnancy hormones, lamented that a deceased pet would never meet her baby.
|Episode 11: "Enter Dancing"
||May 20, 2011
||Sally Kellerman, Paul Scheer
||Julie tells Sally Kellerman that her favorite scene in Back To School is when Dr. Diane Turner (Kellerman's character in the movies) enters dancing into the party that Thornton Mellon is throwing in his dorm.
|Episode 12: "The Young & The Messy"
||May 27, 2011
||During her interview with Julie, Jackée refers to the soap opera The Young and the Restless as "The Young and the Messy."
|Episode 13: "The Ballad of Buddy Longo"
||June 3, 2011
||Buddy Longo was the name of Julieanne Smolinski's high school Criminology teacher. In order to obtain a handwriting sample from a serial killer, Longo made his students write letters to imprisoned serial killers. Julieanne wrote a letter to Richard Ramirez AKA "The Night Stalker." She received a response from Ramirez, in which he asked if she would include a photograph of herself in her next letter. Of course, Julieanne never responded.
|Episode 14: "Our Congressman In His Underpants"
||June 10, 2011
||Michelle Collins, Eugene Mirman
||Did you assume this was a reference to Anthony Weiner, noted sex creep? You were correct.
|How Were Your Tonys? Special Minisode
||June 13, 2011
||A play on the podcast title, in which the Tonys are discussed.
|Episode 15: "What's This? It's The Style"
||June 17, 2011
||Ira Glass, Anaheed Alani
||Part of the lyrics to an Armenian song that guests Glass & Alani translate for Julie. It sounds vaguely like "Old MacDonald" and goes a little something like this: "The Armenian woman taught her child English/Mama, Papa, good morning/What's this? It's the style/Style shmyle."
|Episode 16: "So Many Ethans"
||June 24, 2011
||Ana Gasteyer, Vanessa Bayer
||Julie and Vanessa Bayer discus four of Vanessa's favorite movies from the 1990's (Reality Bites, Singles, So I Married an Axe Murderer, and Empire Records). Reality Bites stars Ethan Hawke and Empire Records stars Ethan Embry ("So Many Ethans").
|Episode 17: "Cat Bride"
||July 1, 2011
||Michael Rapaport, Larry Murphy
||Upon the legalization of gay marriage in the state of New York, Julie announced that she and her female cat (Smiley Muffin) were married.
|Episode 18: "Giant Pictures of Hamburgers"
||July 8, 2011
||This title refers to Tom and Julie's scheme to paste giant pictures of hamburgers onto billboards in New Jersey that feature current governor Chris Christie's giant face.
|Episode 19: "She's A Cold Soup"
||July 15, 2011
||Rob Delaney, Michelle McNamara
||Julie is shocked when guest Delaney name drops a Polish poetess, whose name I cannot possible transcribe. Delaney tries to clarify, Julie says the name sounds like a cold soup, and we all move on.
|Episode 20: "Bev's Bananas"
||July 22, 2011
||When it is insanely hot in NYC, Julie likes to eat the chocolate off of frozen bananas, then throw the banana away because it is useless. Her preferred brand at the time of recording was Diana's Frozen Bananas, but Julie doesn't believe that there is really a Diana behind them. It's probably more like a Bev, but Bev's Bananas is a terrible name.
|Episode 21: "In The Business Of Lying To You"
||July 29, 2011
||Dave Hill, John Ross Bowie
||Julie will not see the documentary "Project Nim" because it's too much, and is about to say that she actually would see the new "Planet of the Apes" movie before immediately correcting that no, she will not. "What am I, in the business of lying to you?"
|Episode 22: "Rave Withdrawal"
||August 5, 2011
||Steve Agee, Bryan Safi
||Julie says she flew Virgin Airlines because she "was suffering from rave withdrawal." Don't ask me, I'm just an anonymous editor.
|Episode 23: "America's Jelly"
||August 12, 2011
||Laraine Newman, Lisa F. Jackson
||KY Jelly. Is Julie going to open this week's show by reading KY ad copy? Yes, apparently she is.
|Episode 24: "Half A Face"
||August 19, 2011
||Paul F. Tompkins, Jamie Denbo
||Guest Tompkins shared a story about running into an old school chum who admired that Tompkins never cared what other people thought about him. Also, this school chum had half a face.
|Episode 25: Best of HWYW Vol. 1
||August 26, 2011
||Joan Rivers, Patton Oswalt, Holly Schlesinger, Neko Case, Billy Eichner, James Urbaniak
|Episode 26: "Count Chocula's Other Teeth"
||September 2, 2011
||Michael Musto, Jake Fogelnest
||Count Chocula has only two teeth, and it's really funny. Are his teeth as important as his hair humps? Julie decides that they are.
|Episode 27: "Shelf Of Justice"
||September 9, 2011
||The "Shelf of Justice" is Nancy Grace's bosom in her outfit from Dancing with the Stars. While Nancy Grace is fueled by vengeance, her upper body may be powered by Little Debbie Zebra Cakes.
|Episode 28: "Sherry"
||September 16, 2011
||Jackie Collins, Amy Schumer
||Julie reads about Maya Angelou's writing rituals on Wikipedia. Angelou checks into a hotel room at 5:00 AM and instructs the staff to remove all of the pictures from the walls. She writes on legal pads, has a deck of cards to play solitaire, a thesaurus, a copy of the bible, and a bottle of sherry.
|Episode 29: "This Is Lowell"
||September 23, 2011
||Patton Oswalt, Daniel Kibblesmith
||On the DVD commentary for "Splash," co-writer Lowell Ganz begins his every comment with the helpful reminder, "This is Lowell."
|Episode 30: "Upstairs Coke"
||September 30, 2011
||Susie Essman, Gabe Delahaye
||Sounds like a sex act, but it's not. At parties at Jack Nicholson's house in the 1970s, if you were invited upstairs that's allegedly where they kept the pharmaceutical grade cocaine, the good stuff, the kind of stuff Robert Evans went to jail for.
|Episode 31: "My Birds"
||October 7, 2011
||Sandra Bernhard, Jeffrey Self
||Brett Butler casually mentioned to Jeffrey Self that she was looking to sell her birds, all 29 of them, but hopefully to someone who wants them for the right reasons. Julie posits that there must have been a 30th bird.
|Episode 32: "Tiny Faces"
||October 14, 2011
||Amy Poehler, Rich Fulcher
||They say that a large head is a common trait among the famous; Julie says tiny faces on giant heads freak her out. Tiny Faces is also the name of Julie's acoustic Rod Stewart cover band.
|Episode 33: "Pondering Tonya"
||October 21, 2011
||Julie has a lot of thoughts about Tonya Harding, as do we all.
|Episode 34: "Satchel"
||October 28, 2011
||Sarah Silverman, Mike Albo
||Satchel is the birth name of Ronan Farrow, the son of Woody Allen (or Frank Sinatra?) and Mia Farrow, discussed in this week's episode.
|Episode 35: "Full Petula"
||November 4, 2011
||Mink Stole, John Mulaney
||A discussion of how Mad Magazine used to draw gay men (think turtlenecks and eyelashes) leads to a mention of "The Boys in the Band," which may or may not include a scene of the titular Boys going "full Petula" and singing "Downtown."
|Episode 36: HWYW Live
||November 10, 2011
||Fred Armisen, Billy Eichner, Paul F. Tompkins, more
|Episode 37: "The Juiciest Chicken You've Ever Had"
||November 18, 2011
||Sonja Morgan, Richard Lawson
||The promised results of guest Sonja Morgan's vague recipe for cooking chicken parmigiana in a toaster oven.
|Episode 38: "Steampunk Goodfellas"
||November 25, 2011
||Mike Daisey, Gil Ozeri
||Scorsese's probable next movie after "Hugo."
|Episode 39: "Horror-curious"
||December 2, 2011
||Nick Kroll, Gabe Liedman
||"Horror-curious" refers to someone, like Julie, who obsessively reads or asks about what happens in scary movies but does not choose to watch them because they are too scay-aired.
|Episode 40: "Twittertudes"
||December 9, 2011
||Kristen Schaal, Ari Graynor
||Julie says she would like to see Kristen Schaal host a show called "Twittertudes," which, you already know the premise if you think about it for like a second. So it's that, but also Schaal would wear a long blazer and no pants.
|Episode 41: "You-know-what-icide Season"
||December 16, 2011
||Ted "Teddy" Leo, Ramona Singer
||A coy reference to the holidays, thought to be the time of year in which the suicide ("you-know-what-icide") rate is highest.
|Episode 42: "Spa-cast"
||December 23, 2011
||Kurt Braunohler, Cecily von Ziegesar
||Julie records this week's intro from a spa. Sometimes it's just that simple.
|Episode 43: "Tommy Mottola for Nothing'
||December 30, 2011
||According to Mike Doughty, Mariah Carey is a "studio rat" (meaning that while she is recording an album she basically lives out of the studio). Julie responds to this by saying: "you don't fuck Tommy Mottola for nothing" (Mottola is Carey's ex-husband and the former head of Sony Music).
|Episode 44: "Twiddling and Eight-balls"
||January 6, 2012
||What were Aerosmith doing before in the mid eighties before Run-D.M.C. resurrected their career? They were "twiddling" their thumbs and doing "eight-balls."
|Episode 45: "Many Parts of a Pine Tree"
||January 13, 2012
||Frank DeCaro, Kate Beaton
||Guest DeCaro attended a "dead celebrities" party dressed as Euell Gibbons, the outdoorsman and Grape Nuts spokesperson with the catchphrase: "many parts of a pine tree are edible."
|Episode 46: "Consequences"
||January 20, 2012
||Chris Gethard, Katie Notopoulos
||Guest Notopoulos details the Yahoo Answers activity of an autistic man who is very concerned with the outcome of hypothetical scenarios. Sample query: "What if a bully from the past came to a wedding and ate the entire wedding cake before the wedding started. Consequences?"
|Episode 47: "What Someone's Mom's Idea of a Nightclub Is"
||January 27, 2012
||David Cross, Eliot Glazer
||The title is a reference to how the original set of The Rosie Show on OWN looked.
|Episode 48: Best of HWYW Vol. 2
||February 3, 2012
||Patton Oswalt, John Mulaney, Mike Daisey, Ted Leo
|Episode 49: "Me and My Stupid Bat"
||February 10, 2012
||An easy-to-miss but important quote from "The Neverending Story." The Night Hob laments that "nobody gives a hoot about me and my stupid bat."
|Episode 50: "What About a Macaroni Salad?"
||February 17, 2012
||Jenny Johnson, Max Silvestri
||As described by guest Max Silvestri, this was a tragic question asked by Aaron Carter, a contestant on "Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cookoff."
|Episode 51: HWYW Live
||January 24, 2012
||Sandra Bernhard, Tom Scharpling, Ira Glass, Joe Mande
|How Were Your Oscars? Special Minisode
||February 27, 2012
||Dave Itzkoff, Tom Scharpling, Gary Tha Squirrel
|Episode 52: "Jolly Roger"
||March 2, 2012
||Lizz Winstead, Adam Wade
||Guest Wade tells of his life-long affinity for elderly women. His grandmother (and possibly his aunts, attribution unclear) was a backseat driver, but a particularly confusing one; when he made wide turns she would say "Oh, Jolly Roger," and no one knows what this means. No one.
|Episode 53: "On Improv"
||March 9, 2012
||Simon Doonan, Eric Lefcowitz
||Monkees historian Lefcowitz, re: the Monkees unpredictable behavior at certain public appearances - "I don't know what they were on." Quoth Julie, "I think they were on improv."
|Episode 54: "The Crunch Factor"
||March 16, 2012
||Rickie Lee Jones, Kambri Crews
||Julie discusses an episode of "My Strange Addiction" about a woman who eats cat treats and cat food, and who is prone to saying things like "On a scale from one to ten, the crunch factor on these is a ten."
|Episode 55: "A Jaw That Could Open a Can of Tuna Fish"
||March 23, 2012
||Mo Rocca, Dave Cullen
||Mo Rocca's description of Maria Shriver's jaw.
|Episode 56: "Jam Ghetto"
||March 30, 2012
||Sharon Needles, Whitney Jefferson
||Since Al Roker has taken over as The Today Show"'s weatherman, Willard Scott has been relegated to the "jam ghetto" (announcing the birthdays of centenarians in segments sponsored by Smuckers).
|Episode 57: "Dog Valet"
||April 6, 2012
||Chris Parnell, Jon Daly
||Julie met the dog valet while in California. He is a dog who will take your bag, bring it inside, and put it on his bed, which is no help to anyone, but extremely charming.
|Episode 58: "College Hounds"
||April 13, 2012
||Susan Orlean, Jon Hendren
||Susan Orlean introduces Julie to the delights of the Dogville Comedies, short films from the 1930s featuring dogs who think they is peoples, dressing up in clothes and walking on their hind legs. College Hounds is a spoof of college football movies, in which the star player is "taken out of the big game by a gang of crooks."
|Episode 59: "The Boyfriend Experience"
||April 20, 2012
||Michael K, Jessica St. Clair, Lennon Parham
||Julie's assessment of guest Michael K's brief, chaste stint as a phone sex operator.
|Episode 60: "Fig Bar Bender"
||April 26, 2012
||Nellie McKay, Dodai Stewart
||Nellie McKay talked about her first appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman. The night before the taping, she was unable to sleep. Julie jokingly asked Nellie if she was "on a bender." Nellie replied by saying she was on a "fig bar bender."
|Episode 61: "Something Something Justin Timberlake"
||May 4, 2012
||David Yazbek, Damien Lemon
||Ashton Kutcher had a tragic Pop Chips commercial/one man show in which he debuted a cavalcade of comedy characters and cut-ups. It's as though he decided to be the untalented Andy Samberg or "something something Justin Timberlake."
|Episode 62: "The Front of a Crocodile"
||May 11, 2012
||Will Leitch, Sara Schaefer
||A dire choice for any masseur: would you rather give a massage to John Travolta or the front of a crocodile? Don't be surprised if this turns up in one of the "Saw" sequels.
|How Was Your Smash? Special Extrasode
||May 17, 2012
||Nate Harris, Jason Grote, Rachel Shukert
||A play on the show's usual title, rephrased to refer to the most important show in the history of television, "Smash." We're all still waiting for the season 2 recap.
|Episode 63: "Help the Street Animals of Morocco"
||May 18, 2012
||Curtis Gwinn, Choire Sicha
||A discussion of Marilu Henner causes Julie to Google the acronym "HSAM." In relation to Henner, HSAM stands for "Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory." However, HSAM is also an acronym for the organization Help the Street Animals of Morocco.
|Episode 64: "Library Water"
||May 25, 2012
||Patton Oswalt, Retta
||Julie remarks that the water from one's childhood library water fountain is the coldest and best tasting water; this is an absolutely accurate statement.
|Episode 65: "My Least Favorite Eagles Song"
||June 1, 2012
||Eddie Pepitone, Paula Pell
|Episode 66: "The Mingus Method"
||June 8, 2012
||Kurt Loder, Nathan Rabin
||Jazz bassist and composer Charles Mingus created a toilet training program for cats.
|How Were Your Tonys? 2012
||June 12, 2012
||Ana Gasteyer, Seth Rudetsky
|Episode 67: "Space Ireland"
||June 15, 2012
||Adam Pally, Eric Drysdale
||In a discussion of the Carvel iced cream cake character Cookie Puss, Julie touches on the subject of Cookie's uncle Cookie O'Puss, who hails from Space Ireland.
|Episode 68: "Crazy Person F.I.T."
||June 22, 2012
||Tavi Gevinson, Jessi Klein
||"Crazy Person F.I.T." is the school that the character "Buffalo Bill" from the movie The Silence of the Lambs should have attended.
|Episode 69: "Is This Jazz?"
||June 29, 2012
||Rob Sheffield, Michael McMillian
||Julie notices the jazz influence on Fiona Apple's new album (The Idler Wheel...).
|Episode 70: "Do You Shred?"
||July 6, 2012
||Carole Radziwill, Kevin Allison
||Julie went to a male strip club with Katie Notopoulos and asked a guitar-playing hunk: "Do you shred?"
|Episode 71: HWYW Live
||July 13, 2012
||Martha Plimpton, Jim Gaffigan, Katie Notopoulos, Mike Daisey, VIDS
|Episode 72: "Side of Fries"
||July 20, 2012
||Tig Notaro, Steve Kandell
||Would it be fun if when a waiter asked if she wants anything else, Julie said "side of fries" and pulled a handful of fries out of her pocket and set them on the table? Well, would it?
|Episode 73: "The Sneaker Nap"
||July 27, 2012
||Bobcat Goldthwait, Simon Amstell
||A term for when one puts on his or her workout clothes to exercise but instead just takes a nap while wearing sneakers.
|Episode 74: "Most of the Nooks"
||August 3, 2012
||Gabe Liedman, Alison Rich
||Julie, re: the unexpected potency of rose wine: "It gets into all of the crannies and most of the nooks."
|Episode 75: "Doc Hopper Realness"
||August 9, 2012
||The investigator in documentary "The Imposter" turns up looking exactly like Charles Durning in "The Muppet Movie," which is a good look on a southern gentleman.
|HWYW Special Minisode
||August 10, 2012
|Episode 76: Best of HWYW Vol. 3
||August 17, 2012
||Patton Oswalt, Carole Radziwill, Eddie Pepitone, Sara Schaefer, Dave Cullen
|Episode 77: "The Fajitas"
||August 24, 2012
||Andy Kindler, Adira Amram
||Andy Kindler talks about one of his early stand-up bits in which his mother comes out from New York to California and is a stereotypical tourist. One of the questions that Andy's mother asked him in typical tourist fashion was as follows: "Andy, you live in California. How are the fajitas?"
|Episode 78: "Girls Named Heather Fixing Their Skirts"
||August 31, 2012
||Max Read, Kurt Metzger
||Kurt Metzger describes a show on Fox News hosted by two women named Heather. Metzger says that both women always wear short skirts, which they are constantly adjusting on camera in a suggestive manner.
|Episode 79: "C Skeleton"
||September 7, 2012
||W. Kamau Bell, Wayne White, Neil Berkeley
||Anna Wintour. The C stands for exactly what you think it does.
|Episode 80: "Ubu's Owner"
||September 13, 2012
||Gary David Goldberg, creator of "Family Ties" and owner of a dog named Ubu. Sit, Ubu, sit.
|Episode 81: "The Best Mother on Television"
||September 21, 2012
||Fran Drescher, Adrian Chen
||Julie posits that Mama June, of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" fame, is the best mother on television. This statement was retracted on October 31, 2014.
|Episode 82: "Lapland"
||September 27, 2012
||Jon Ronson tells a story about taking his son to meet Santa at Santa's home. He explains that European Santas live in Lapland, an actual place a person can take a trip to.
|Episode 83: "P is for Pizza"
||October 4, 2012
||Jodi Lennon, Jessica Grose
||Upon learning that Jodi Lennon has stolen a slice of pizza, she proposes that the title of Jodi Lennon's crime adventure be "P Is For Pizza."
|Episode 84: "Where's Grandpa?"
||October 11, 2012
||Andrew McCarthy, Frank Conniff
||The question Julie asks whenever that young guy is hosting Turner Classic Movies instead of Robert Osborne. He should always be there.
|Episode 85: "No Breast Buds"
||October 19, 2012
||Mike Birbiglia, Peaches Christ
||This title refers to Julie's experience seeing the musical "Annie" surrounded by pre-pubescent girls who had "no breast buds."
|Episode 86: "How Was Your Shriek Live"
||October 25, 2012
||Kristen Johnston, Scharpling & Wurster, Gabe Liedman, Gary Tha Squirrel
||A Halloween-themed play on the podcast's title.
|Episode 87: "How Was Your Storm"
||November 2, 2012
||Chris Spooner, Jack Fagan
||A more poignant play on the podcast's title, the "storm" refers to Hurricane Sandy.
|Episode 88: "Angry Horseback Riding"
||November 9, 2012
||Todd Oldham, Nikki Glaser
||Post-election, Julie speculates that Ann Romney is likely engaging in some angry horseback riding to cope with her husband's loss.
|Episode 89: "Blowhole Junction"
||November 15, 2012
||Tim Heidecker, Lisa Hanawalt
||Julie awoke at 4 am to hear young ruffians actually yelling "woo" and generally making a racket in her courtyard. She wasn't actually that mad because it was so retro and very "Newsies," like she was living in something which is not actually called "Steampipe Alley", nor is it "Blowhole Junction." (She was probably thinking of Shinbone Alley.)
|Episode 90: "Night Trote"
||November 23, 2012
||David Rees, Laura Benanti
||Julie needs a new humidifier to solve the problem of her Night Throat, or as she calls it, "Night Trote."
|Episode 91: "Meet the Flickers"
||November 30, 2012
||The daughter of Siggy Flicker, love picker, is bothered because her last name, when spelled in block letters on the back of her soccer jersey, appears to read F-U-C-K-E-R, as the L and I look like a U. Julie suggests that the family star in a show called "Meet the Flickers," a reference to the 2004 film "Meet the Fockers."
|Episode 92: "Banana Steaks"
||December 7, 2012
||Kyle Dunnigan, Beth Hoyt
||The New York Post claimed that they took a photo of a man about to be run over in the subway because they thought the flash might alert somebody, which is the silliest thing Julie has heard since she heard that clowns are coming over for banana steaks.
|Episode 93: "Skin Flesh"
||December 14, 2012
||Michael Ian Black, Will Hines
||1) Julie felt awkward at the NYMag holiday party because she didn't know anyone, but then Melissa (citation needed) from sales took pity and introduced herself. "Thank God. Melissa. Cling to me. Melissa, your skin flesh, your skin flesh it quivers." 2) Speaking of skin flesh, did you see the Hurricane Sandy 12/12/12 classic rock jingle ball, starring Roger Daltrey's chest flesh?
|Episode 94: "I'm Stayin'"
||December 21, 2012
||Jackie Hoffman, Bill Persky
||John Travolta's final line of banter in his gender flipped cover of "Baby It's Cold Outside" with Olivia Newton John. He's staying! Gross!
|Episode 95: "Leon Pancetta"
||December 28, 2012
||Julie astutely renames James Gandolfini's character in "Zero Dark Thirty."
|Episode 96: "Exactly Like a Cornish Hen"
||January 4, 2013
||Starlee Kine, Noah Garfinkel
||The brittle bones of Joan Didion.
|Episode 97: "Glug Glug"
||January 11, 2013
||Carrie Brownstein, Danielle Henderson
||The sound of Julie helping herself to a glass of 2% milk while hungry in an office that wasn't hers.
|Episode 98: "All That Gurgling"
||January 18, 2013
||Richard Kind, Issa Rae
||Why Julie cannot watch "Grey's Anatomy." She's interested in doctors fucking, but then there's all those patients with tubes in them and assorted medical gurgling noises.
|Episode 99: "Fridge Leaners"
||January 25, 2013
||Bridey Elliot, Colman Domingo
||In an attempt to look cool while telling a story about Ryan Gosling, Bridey Elliot leans into Julie's refrigerator.
|Episode 100: "One Hundred"
||January 31, 2013
||Tom Scharpling, Jesse Thorn
||The one hundredth episode of HWYW
|Episode 101: "Heavy Things Onto Stages"
||February 8, 2013
||David Ozanich, Michael Kupperman
||How did Katie Couric get a piano on the set of her talk show? Union workers. They move heavy things onto stages, they eat sandwiches. It's a job.
|Episode 102: "Men of the '90s"
||February 15, 2013
||Peter Grosz, Craig Bierko
||The title refers to the type of men who still find Jenny McCarthy attractive, and the target audience for her talk show.
|Episode 103: "How Was Your Exorcist"
||February 22, 2013
||Ted "Teddy" Leo, Jesse Murray
||Another play on the title of the podcast, in which the mansplaining film "The Exorcist" is discussed.
|Episode 104: "Battlefield Girth"
||March 1, 2013
||DC Pierson, Alex Timbers
||An alternate name for the Scientology-themed action film that references John Travolta's current appearance.
|Episode 105: "An Egg Without Salt"
||March 7, 2013
||David Wain, America Ferrera
||Kissing a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.
|Episode 106: "In the Presence of Poison"
||March 15, 2013
||Claudia Lonow, Carol Sue Gershman
||The chemicals they use when you get a perm are so intense they even *smell* poisonous, and this realization can make you think you are going to die. The anxiety passes when you see how good the perm looks.
|Episode 107: "Santas, Attack!"
||March 22, 2013
||Chad Carter, Ted Travelstead
||What was said by some very scary people during SantaCon on a subway car. Can you imagine?!
|Episode 108: "Photos of Jackets"
||March 29, 2013
||Room 237 Filmmakers Rodney Ascher & Tim Kirk
||There are about a million women's magazines that are just photos of jackets, like "here are five pages of photos of jackets." This actually does not help Julie's own need for well-fitting jackets.
|Episode 109: "Canal Street"
||April 5, 2013
||Marc Spitz, Nicole J. Georges
||An off-putting nickname for one's vagina.
|Episode 110: HWYW Live
||April 12, 2013
||Chris & Bridey Elliott, Aimee Mann, Siggy Flicker, Pichet Ong, Max Silvestri, more
|Episode 111: "Ann-Margret's P-Belt"
||April 19, 2013
||Christina Gausas, Craig Rowin
||What does the key that the mayor gives Conrad Birdie unlock?
|Episode 112: "Wesleyan as a Human Being"
||April 26, 2013
||Rachel Lichtman, Jena Friedman
||A description of Amanda Palmer, Kickstarter martyr.
|Episode 113: "Pete Ubu"
||May 3, 2013
||Jim Gaffigan, Ophira Eisenberg
||An error when texting about the band "Pere Ubu" with Jake Fogelnest. It was accidentally corrected to "Pete Ubu." Julie reminisces about how this would be a hilarious name for a gentleman to have.
|Episode 114: "Battling Bots"
||May 10, 2013
||There is always a fighting robots show on TV somewhere. In the 90s, it was "BattleBots." Now it's probably something like "Battling Bots" on SyFy, or TCM.
|Episode 115: "Madame, No"
||May 17, 2013
||Sedaris recounts meeting a woman who defecates into a bag and flushes the bag down the toilet. Julie is appropriate aghast.
|Episode 116: "The Human Condition on TV"
||May 24, 2013
||Emily Bazelon, Abbi Crutchfield
||Neil LaBute's series for DirecTV promises to examine the human condition, which is good to know because Julie was worried it wouldn't do that.
|Episode 117: HWYW Gems 4
||May 31, 2013
||Tom Scharpling, Jon Ronson, Rachel Lichtman, Emily Heller & Lisa Hanawalt, Danielle Henderson
|Episode 118: "Wayne and Garth"
||June 7, 2013
||Shelby Fero, Bridget Everett
||Julie suggests that guest Bridget Everett may have nicknamed her breasts "Wayne and Garth" in 1992.
|Episode 119: "Curating the Linens"
||June 14, 2013
||Harris Wittels, Ben Nugent
||Guest Wittels shares a story about simultaneous masturbation sessions at sleepovers during his teen years, where each participant had a sheet or blanket for privacy. Julie's favorite detail and follow-up questions largely revolve around said sheets, and "curating the linens."
|Episode 120: "We're All Smart"
||June 21, 2013
||Kat Dennings, Chiara Atik
||A reference to the film "Zero Dark Thirty," this is a line spoken by Leon Panetta (Pancetta) that resonated with Julie, particularly in the wake of James Gandolfini's death two days earlier
|Episode 121: "Silver Dollar Pancakes"
||June 28, 2013
||Gillian Jacobs, Louis Virtel
||What Priscilla Presley sees when she looks in the mirror. (Clarification/explanation needed.)
|Episode 122: "Rosie's Meds"
||July 5, 2013
||Ted "Teddy" Leo, Andrea Arden, Marrilee Wilson
||Julie is really curious about the content and dosage of Rosie O'Donnell's medication, and thinks that "Rosie's Meds" could be the OWN network equivalent of "Roseanne's Nuts." Other Rosie topics discussed: Rosie's hair, Rosie's new wife, Rosie's potential as a cult leader.
|Episode 123: "The Patient Zero of Food"
||July 12, 2013
||Julie saw documentary "The Source Family" and was incredibly disgusted by the Source Cafe (as also featured in the film "Annie Hall"), where the servers went braless and had dirty rat bird pigeon feathers in their hair. The menu was disgusting and Julie posits that the harvest salad actually caused AIDS.
|Episode 124: "Dicks for Days"
||July 19, 2013
||Brent Weinbach, Gabe Durham
||Julie worries that her imagination isn't especially good. She describes her own adult imagination as "dicks for days," a descent into repetitive sexual fantasies. It's more charming the way she describes it.
|Episode 125: "Shitty Shoes"
||July 26, 2013
||Pichet Ong, Halle Kiefer
||The sort of shoes worn while participating in Zog Sports, which Julie eviscerates in detail (see also: do I roll up the sleeves of this t-shirt? Why can't it be a flattering tank?)
|Episode 126: "Cool Story, Dennis"
||August 2, 2013
||A phrase that sums up Julie's attitude towards male baby boomers (see: Anthony Bourdain); specifically, a response to a man driving teenaged Julie home after a babysitting job, after he has mentioned that "once, he smoked pot."
|Episode 127: "Like Fuddruckers but Expensive"
||August 9, 2013
||Julie's summary of cynically contrived, "folksy" aesthetics in fashion and pop culture.
|Episode 128: "America's Morning"
||August 16, 2013
||A reference to the Today Show, specifically to the Today Show's exuberant twitter feed, which asked for personal stories from the 2003 blackout; Julie shares her story on the podcast, but not with @todayshow.
|Episode 129: "A Hanna-Barbera Cartoon About Carnage"
||August 23, 2013
||A description of the sounds that emitted from the room in which a vet tech repaired to biopsy Julie's confident, fractious, and beautiful cat, the late Smiley Muffin; also, Julie's prediction of what would happen if she announced to her family that she had pitched a show to Al Jazeera America.
|Episode 130: "I'll Chew On A Dog"
||August 30, 2013
||A quote from Tim Burton's "Beetlejuice." When making his fake television commercial, Beetlejuice promises the following: "I'll eat anything you want me to eat. I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I'll... chew on a dog! Arroooo!"
|Episode 131: "The Poetry of Her Tchotchkes"
||September 6, 2013
||Michael Urie, Jonathan Tollis
||A Streisand-heavy episode, with much discussion of Tollis' play "Buyer and Cellar" about Barbra's famed underground shopping center in which no shopping takes place. The play really captures the poetry of her tchotchkes, among other things.
|Episode 132: "Julie Klausner on a Citi Bike Dot Com"
||September 13, 2013
||The long-anticipated photo of Julie posing on a Citi Bike with one brawr strap showing has been completed and officially posted at http://julieklausneronacitibike.com/
|Episode 133: "Chive Teef"
||September 20, 2013
||After seeing a poster featuring an anthropomorphic potato with chive teef (teeth), Julie ponders the lives and interests of designers who worked on "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2." Do they love their job? Is that sad? Who's to say?
|Episode 134: "Eat a Carb!"
||September 27, 2013
||Dr. Irene Pepperberg & Emily Wick
||Emmy-winning actress Anna Gunn (Breaking Bad) unnecessarily "justified" her "puffiness" on the series, stating that steroids caused the weight gain and that cortisone caused the subsequent weight loss. Julie, in disapproval of Gunn's decreasing body mass, and apparent need to explain herself to the public, encouraged her to "Eat a Carb!" and be happy.
|Episode 135: "Walking Ballads"
||October 4, 2013
||"Walking Ballads" are former athletes. They're sad stories.
|Episode 136: "Layla"
||October 11, 2013
||In the monologue, Julie sings the lyrics she wrote for piano part at the end of "Layla."
|Episode 137: "Houdini's Waffles"
||October 18, 2013
||Chris Elliott & Jason Woliner
||Julie and guests discuss Neil Patrick Harris's membership in The World Famous Hollywood Magic Castle organization, speculating that a wonderful brunch served there might include a dish called "Houdini's Waffles."
|Episode 138: "Oooooh!"
||October 25, 2013
||As reported by Jake Fogelnest, this is the noise that actor Christopher Hewett made when he sat on his own balls at a table read for the television program Mr. Belvedere.
|Episode 139: "More Suicide Than The Average Bear"
||November 1, 2013
||Julie recalls a moment from Mo Rocca's interview with Mariel Hemingway on CBS Sunday Morning, in which the amount of suicide in her family's history is a topic. Julie describes the amount of suicide in the Hemingway family as more than that of the average bear.
|Episode 140: "A Charmless Joy Behar"
||November 8, 2013
||A description of Woody Allen's sister as she appears in the documentary "Wild Man Blues," which Julie watched primarily to gain insight into Soon-Yi.
|Episode 141: "Congratulations"
||November 15, 2013
||The ultimate shade-throwing maneuver.
|Episode 142: "Betty 1, 2, 3"
||November 22, 2013
||Jill Soloway, Danny Tedesco
||What children should be called to avoid classroom confusion. Also a recipe of Julie's creation. It is Spaghettios on noodles.
|Episode 143: "The Crime of Being Delicious"
||November 29, 2013
||While attempting to explain the National Thanksgiving Turkey Presentation to a Puerto Rican woman, this is how Julie responded to the question of what crime the turkeys - Caramel and Popcorn - were being pardoned of. Julie's joke elicited no laughs.
|Episode 144: "P Pocket"
||December 6, 2013
||Britney Spears' pants. The P stands for exactly what you think it does
|Episode 145: "Death Fedora"
||December 13, 2013
||A special hat to wear to a funeral, because you can't wear any of your other fedoras.
|Episode 146: "The Opposite of Rock & Roll"
||December 20, 2013
||Barbara Streisand. Julie has a lot of complicated feelings about her.
|Episode 147: "I Don't Do Mushrooms, Henry"
||December 27, 2013
||Henry is Phish fan Julie made up, to whom she explains that she does not think cats can smile.
|Episode 148: "Goodbye, Spoony"
||January 3, 2014
||Chris "Spoony" Spooner's final episode as producer of How Was Your Week. He passes the torch to Ryan "Hotlips" Houlihan. Ted Leo wrote him a song.
|Episode 149: "Here's a Sconce"
||January 10, 2014
|Episode 150: "HWYW Gems Volume 5"
||January 17, 2014
||Brent Weinbach, Rachel Lichtman, Freedy Johnston
|Episode 151: "To Talk to You About Rembrandt"
||January 24, 2014
||What Sister Wendy is eager to do.
|Episode 152: "Bret Easton Ellis Brainstorming"
||January 31, 2014
||Julie refuses to speculate further on what Charlie Sheen does to real dolls. She is not Bret Easton Ellis brainstorming.
|Episode 153: "Strings and Levees and Pulleys"
||February 7, 2014
||This is what's on the waterproof jacket that Elie Weisel is wearing at the end of "Night"/that woman was wearing at the end of "The Biggest Loser."
|Episode 154: "Shakespeare on my Bike"
||February 14, 2014
|Episode 155: "Andrew and Sunshine"
||February 21, 2014
||Names Julie made up for Katharine McPhee's dogs.
|Episode 156: "Karen O-scars"
||February 28, 2014
||A reference to Karen O's nomination for Best Original Song.
|Episode 157: "Doing A Voice Things"
||March 7, 2014
||One of the things Cameron Diaz is doing (rather than acting) in the trailer for the Annie remake.
|Episode 158: "She's a Car"
||March 14, 2014
|Episode 159: "Python Run"
||March 21, 2014
||What Julie and Alice Cooper call their dates where they take their pythons to the park and let them run around. He has stood her up for 1 Python Run, and 3 Golf Dates.
|Episode 160: "God"
||March 28, 2014
||Penn of Penn and Teller's safe word when you are having sex with him.
|Episode 161: "Things That Demonstrate Physics"
||April 4, 2014
|Episode 162: "Praying to Fonts"
||April 11, 2014
||In Orthodox Judaism, women and men sit separately so that no one is distracted from praying to God. In Wes Anderson movies, there are no women so that no one is distracted from praying to fonts.
|Episode 163: "Talking Gump"
||April 18, 2014
||A new talk show debuting during AMC's Gump Week. They almost hired a woman to host it, but then oops they didn't.
|Episode 164: "That's The Twist"
||April 25, 2014
||Tommy Wiseau's explanation for just about everything.
|Episode 165: "A Working Heart"
||May 2, 2014
|Episode 166: "That Bellevue Glow"
||May 9, 2014
||Julie notes that guest Liza Dye, who recently got out of the hospital where she was recovering from a train accident, looks beautiful and rested.
|Episode 167: "Unable to Close Her Eyes"
||May 16, 2014
||Barbara Walters is and will continue to be...
|Episode 168: "The Current Incarnation of Alec"
||May 23, 2014
||Which incarnation of Alec Baldwin would you sleep with? Choices: Beetlejuice, Glenglarry Glen Ross, It's Complicated, Blue Jasmine. Those are the only answers to this multiple choice question.
|Episode 169: "Pus Town"
||May 30, 2014
|Episode 170: "Our Generation's Nessie"
||June 6, 2014
||Possibly what Slender Man aka "Slendermin" is.
|Episode 171: "Brillsplaining"
||June 13, 2014
||What Julie called her explanation of the Carole King musical 'Beautiful' as it takes place in the Brill Building
|Episode 172: "Pellet of Pleasure"
||June 20, 2014
||What a grilled cheese sandwich should be.
|Episode 174: "Occasional Benevolence Based On Their Scratch Parts"
||July 4, 2014
||What guest Emily Gould loves most about cats.
|Episode 175: "Barbershop Quartet of Bullying Doom"
||July 11, 2014
|Episode 176: "False Chunk"
||July 18, 2014
||A little ball of just-ice cream in a pint of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked that is impersonating a chunk of brownie or candy bar.
|Episode 177: "The Smaller The Cats"
||July 25, 2014
||When Julie has a problem, her solution is to throw cats at it. The more existential the problem, the more unsolvable arguably the problem is, the more cats she throws, or the smaller the cats.
|Episode 178: "One of the Few Living People That Has A Ghost"
||August 1, 2014
|Episode 179: "Rita Moreno Was Going Through Some Stuff"
||August 8, 2014
||What Tony Bennet thinks re: collaborating with Lady Gaga
|Episode 180: "My Dog Hates Me"
||August 15, 2014
||Joshua Wolf Shenk
||The probable subtitle of a terrible article about how we should all feel bad about domesticating dogs centuries ago.
|Episode 181: "STANLEY"
||August 22, 2014
||Natasha recounts a part of the book 'Sex at Dawn' and describes kind of tribal gang-bang where the woman's next partner is called in from the outside. She and Julie riff on names of these potential partners.
|Episode 182: "A Cup and Saucer Made Out of a Daffodil"
||September 5, 2014
||What Willy Wonka drinks out of in the movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"
|Episode 183: "Starship Truthers"
||September 12, 2014
||Julie briefly mispronounces 'truthers' as 'troopers' and notes that Starship Truthers would be a very different film.
|Episode 185: "Sucking In"
||September 19, 2014
||A teenaged Julie once watched a videotaped production of Pippin with some other girls, who commented that one actress was "sucking in," as she had a flat tummy. There are pros and cons to growing up in the suburbs, guys.
|Episode 186: "IF HIS NAME WAS WOODEN SPOON"
||September 26, 2014
||Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" describes a suitor who "tossed [her] salad like his name was Romaine." Julie observes that this doesn't make sense and comes up with a better potential name.
|Episode 187: "Hershey Nestlebaum"
||October 3, 2014
||This is the name of Julie's lawyer.
|Episode 188: "Her Own Carol"
||October 10, 2014
|Episode 189: "Australian Mars"
||October 17, 2014
|Episode 190: "A Handsome On Your Test"
||October 24, 2014
|Episode 191: "My Waxy Parts"
||October 31, 2014
|Episode 192: "You Have To Take Care Of The Baby"
||November 7, 2014
||During a rainstorm, Sadie Stein was approached by a creepy businessman whom desired her umbrella. When she refused, he said, "But I'm the baby. You have to take care of the baby."
|Episode 193: "The Ol' Not That"
||November 14, 2014
|Episode 194: "Hearing Yourself Breathe"
||November 28, 2014
|Episode 195: "She's a Hurricane"
||December 27, 2014
|Episode 196: "Satan's Interns"
||March 27, 2015
|Episode 197: "Full Deeny"
||April 3, 2015
|Episode 198: "Heather Pizza"
||April 10, 2015
|Episode 199: "Take This Chainsaw"
||April 24, 2015
|Episode 200: "Schmoo on a Hook"
||May 22, 2015
||Chris "Spoony" Spooner, Thomas Middleditch
|Episode 201: "A Woman With A Grudge"
||May 29, 2015