Top 30 Fruits

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In Episode 178: "One of the Few Living People That Has A Ghost", Julie ranks fruit. Julie feels strongly about fruit and really likes it. This list is meant to provoke, to be challenged and to blow minds.

If you have thoughts on fruit and how it should be ranked, please use the Discussion link above.


  1. Cherries (Their flavor never disappoints. It is what red tastes like to people.)
  2. Watermelon (Perhaps a seasonal ranking.)
  3. Nectarine (Above peaches because of fuzz.)
  4. Pineapple
  5. Peach
  6. Apple (Transcend comfort and take life into a state of joy and play. Apples are the bread of the fruit world.)
  7. Plums, sweet
  8. Clementines (A bad clementine will not ruin your day, because you probably have more of them.)
  9. Tomatoes (Without spaghetti sauce, there is no reason to live.)
  10. Banana
  11. Grapes, red
  12. Strawberries (A bad strawberry is not as big of a bummer as a bad orange.)
  13. Orange (A great orange is great, but a bad orange can ruin your day.)
  14. Raspberries
  15. Lemon (What would you do without the flavor of lemon in your life?)
  16. Grapes, green
  17. Pear
  18. Non-watermelon melons (honeydews and cantaloupes)
  19. Kiwi (The mouth gets 'spicy' after eating.)
  20. Apricot
  21. Pomegranate (Its outside is special, sort of like the "rind of a book.")
  22. Lime
  23. Grapefruit
  24. Coconuts (could not sit down with for breakfast)
  25. Blueberry (can be mealy. not worth the textural risk.)
  26. Mango (can be stringy and leathery)
  27. Persimmon (Nothing more than a sweet tomato, without the tomato flavor)
  28. Papaya (texture is clay-like and the flavor doesn't pay off)
  29. Plums, tart (When you are expecting a sweeter plum and you get a tart one, it's disappointing)
  30. Guava (which Julie has never had, but she has heard they are sour)


Episode 179: "Rita Moreno Was Going Through Some Stuff"

  • Avocados - Julie explains that she thinks of Avocados as a vegetable, even though tomatoes are included in the Fruit Ranking.
  • Satsumas - Julie had not heard of a satsuma, but learned about their "large and prominent oil glands" from the Satsuma wikipedia entry and was subsequently grossed out.
  • More on Blueberries - wherever you can put a blueberry, a chocolate chip would be better.
  • Blackberries - They're fine. They are on the same strata as raspberries, but more clitoris-y.