Things not to tell Julie

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In life and in response to rhetorical questions from HWYW:

Do not tell Julie:

  • That her brar strap is showing.
  • What one of those machines that has a claw and says CAT on the side of it is called.
  • If you have had a bad experience with softclaws.
  • If you are working at a clothing store, never tell Julie "that color looks great with your hair". Just tell her that she looks thin.
  • What kind of porn you watch.
  • What you think of Lady Guh-Gah
  • About Star Wars.
  • If the Death Star is from Star Wars
  • How long "May the Fourth" Star Wars day has been a thing
  • If the idea that there is anything "worse than the word 'play' being used to describe sexual acts" has been covered on the podcast already.
  • What you are thankful for.
  • If Tegan and Sara are a Vaudeville or Burlesque act.
  • What the holiday Lag B'Omer celebrates/observes.
  • If you have watched the movie Eraserhead in full and if you liked it, until February 14th, 2014. (After which, you must tell her.)
  • What a "Flappy Bird" is.
  • That you bought the new Charlotte Gainsbourg CD.
  • What animal Pikachu from Pokemon is.
  • To explain a joke.
  • Whether adamandsteve.com is a website or not.
  • What Ralph Fienes' character in "Red Dragon" does to his victims.
  • How Julia Roberts was in the 2014 HBO Movie "The Normal Heart."
  • About the history of clowning
  • The names of Robin Williams' broad comedy movies.
  • If you have made out with someone in your place of worship as a teenager, as in the basement of the Schule or whatever...
  • That French women eat butter but they enjoooooy the butter.
  • Anything more about "Meep" from Ryan Murphini's American Horror Story Classics. Please. Please. For the love of Meep, stop talking about Meep.


Debatable items that Julie may not want you to tell her:

  • that you have gone to Knott's Scary Farm and have seen "Elvira's Big Top" show.