Things not to tell Julie

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In life and in response to rhetorical questions from HWYW:

Do not tell Julie:

  • That her brar strap is showing.
  • What one of those machines that has a claw and says CAT on the side of it is called.
  • If you have had a bad experience with softclaws.
  • If you are working at a clothing store, never tell Julie "that color looks great with your hair". Just tell her that she looks thin.
  • What kind of porn you watch.
  • What you think of Lady Guh-Gah
  • About Star Wars.
  • If the Death Star is from Star Wars
  • How long "May the Fourth" Star Wars day has been a thing
  • If the idea that there is anything "worse than the word 'play' being used to describe sexual acts" has been covered on the podcast already.
  • What you are thankful for.
  • If Tegan and Sara are a Vaudeville or Burlesque act.
  • What the holiday Lag B'Omer celebrates/observes.
  • If you have watched the movie Eraserhead in full and if you liked it, until February 14th, 2014. (After which, you must tell her.)
  • What a "Flappy Bird" is.
  • That you bought the new Charlotte Gainsbourg CD.
  • What animal Pikachu from Pokemon is.
  • To explain a joke.
  • Whether is a website or not.
  • What Ralph Fienes' character in "Red Dragon" does to his victims.
  • How Julia Roberts was in the 2014 HBO Movie "The Normal Heart."
  • About the history of clowning
  • The names of Robin Williams' broad comedy movies.
  • If you have made out with someone in your place of worship as a teenager, as in the basement of the Schule or whatever...
  • That French women eat butter but they enjoooooy the butter.
  • Anything more about "Meep" from Ryan Murphini's American Horror Story Classics. Please. Please. For the love of Meep, stop talking about Meep.
  • If Bernie will win or not.

Debatable items that Julie may not want you to tell her:

  • that you have gone to Knott's Scary Farm and have seen "Elvira's Big Top" show.